Thursday, November 29, 2007

Assessment in the Arctic

Hello again to all my friends!(I learned that off of Barney yesterday..I mean when I was 6)

Well, I found out that my roommate is not the only one that reads this. I don't know if that is a good thing, but I figure you all still talk to me. You are my true friends:) I just asked Amanda what I should blog about and she said "anything". I don't know if I really want to blog about that though, so I thought I would just tell ya'll about my day.

November 29, 2007 0700

See I don't have an alarm clock at the moment, so I use a timer. Literally, I have to set it to how many hours it is before I wake up. It is rather depressing. I lay there staring at it, as if it is a bomb. It keeps me awake because all I can think about is how it is going down, and how I will have to get up. I used to like the sound of the timer. It meant the cookies were done, or the bread had risen. Now, it just means feeling like a zombie and scrummaging around looking for a pair of scrubs and stethescope.Praying that Jesus would return. I wish I was joking. Anyways, that was a major side note if there ever was one.
1300
What I wanted to talk about was what happened today in lab. See, we are now taking an Assessment class. I really like it, because it is hands on and practical. Today we were doing the urinary system. It is pretty sweet to listen to your insides. It brings joy to my life. Today me and Amanda got to lab early. I was lying in the bed waiting for her to start her assessment on me when our teacher came up to me. Sometimes she does illustrations on us so we can see how it is to be done. Today I was her guinea pig, which is fine. Unfortunatly, it involved listening to my stomach and asking me awkward questions. Actually, they are not so much awkward it is just really weird telling the whole class when my last bowel movement was. I honestly have no idea. It isn't like I have it written on my hand.:) Anyways, so she tells me I am going to be her guinea pig. I am lying there with all these people around me. It is like a movie when you open your eyes and there is people above you. Here's the thing, the boiler broke down in our classroom so it was flippin' cold. There I was lying there bundled up in blankets and trying to not freeze to death, yet my stomach had to be exposed to the world because she was listening to it. It was really unusual. Then she had to put her freezing cold hands on my abdomen, which basically made me tense up. I think I looked like a corpse. Cold, frozen and now tense. She tried to warm up her hands, but somehow trying to warm up hands in the Arctic does not work. Oh, and then the stethescope was really cold. I swear, I am going to carry around a little lighter to warm mine up when I go around listening to insides. Plus, she asked me all these weird things in front of my class. How am I supposed to remember what I had for breakfast yesterday, or what time I usually take a bowel movement? My waste excretion varies, depending on the day. You know what I mean?? It isn't like I have a time booked in my day planner to do that.1:00 GO TO THE WASHROOM! Anyways, that was probably not something you wanted to hear. Someday, if I am ever your nurse I will ask you that though. Be prepared. Write it down somewhere. Oh, and they might ask you what color your urine is.Here's my advice.Get paint chips and compare. Then when they ask you can say"sunlight yellow" or "pale banana peel". They will think you are brilliant!!! Guaranteed. Luckily, I made it through fine with only minor mental issues.
Well, that was my day in a nut shell. Showed off my belly to the world in the Arctic Tundra, figured out my bowel habits and gave a paint chip to my teacher.

I am so scared to go to bed and have a dream about my day. That would be a nightmare.Wake up screaming."PALE BANANA PEEL, DON'T HURT ME!!"

Ho man, that was an intense vent:) My last advice. Get your measles shot! Sweet Dreams, Jess

Wednesday, November 14, 2007

Triple L...Library, Legs and Limping

I always pick the worse times to write on here. I have around a million things to do, and here I am blogging. Something funny happened to me today though. I must tell. It's going to be fun. It's going to be great. It's going to be more then you can take. Not really actually. I am just excited to have a story to write this time. Wanna hear it?? I'll take that as a yes!

Today I woke up with dread because I knew I would have to spend the day in the..wait for it....LIBRARY!!!! I can hear you gasping! K, that might be not a big deal to you, but it is for me. I don't know what it is about libraries, but I don't cope well in them. I know there are people that have studied with me in them, and swear never to again. I just want to laugh in them. It isn't even so much that I am not allowed to talk. I am okay with that, believe it or not. Just the atmosphere is so...I don't know. Whenever I am in them I want to be rebellious. Plus, the library here is on competion with West Ed for size. I always pray I dont get lost, because it would be a nightmare to get lost in the library. I wouldn't be able to scream for help. I would die a quiet dark death among the Bible Dictionaries and Commentaries.
Anyways, I went to the library and was trying really hard to sit in my cubicle with white walls. I feel like a horse with blinders. Stay focused! I was getting really frusterated because I couldn't figure out a stupid thesis sentence, and I just kept wanting to draw graffiti on the white walls. I never though, because I had nothing clever to write. Not that I would have anyways. ANYWAYS, as I was sitting there I felt one of my pant legs move. I was like"why is there a register underneath the desks?" I was so confused! I then came up with the brilliant idea to move my leg, so I did. Then guess what happened!! I felt it again. I then came up with another brilliant idea. I looked to see what it was. I am so smart!!! It was not a register, but a pair of feet!!! The guy in the cubicle across from me didn't know I was there and was majorly stretching out. I think he thought my leg was the table. My friend then came up and saw what had happened. I then started laughing, which probably made it more awkward for the poor guy, but I just couldn't help it. There I was sitting there in basically a fetal position, and he was sprawled out. It was funny!! I then got up because I was laughing, and my friend was trying to see who the guy was. It was great!!! He was trying to hide his face, but I knew. I just looked at him and smiled, and then went and had my laugh. Just to prove my point that libraries are awkward, no matter how innocent you are trying to be. I basically left after that, because I figured it was my sign to move on. Actually no, I went and put some cowboy boots on with SPURS!!Went back to the cubicle and did the same thing to him. I think I saw him limping as he went to check out his books. Maybe someday I tell him that I really didn't care all that much, I just pretend like I am angry in very extreme ways. For now though, I think I will just continue to open doors for him with a smile as he suffers through life on crutches.

Learning to Like Libraries, Jess

P.S. I hope you guys read the sarcasm in the last part of this. If not, I guess you will have to think that I am a crazy person that enjoys harming others. I think the only ones that think I would do something like that are my past cell mates. jk..

Tuesday, November 13, 2007

Weirdness+Funniness= Good Times!!

Hello out there!!!!
I don't know why I come on here when I have nothing in particular to write. I just get the urge to vent, and somehow doing it to a lifeless, square piece of machinery seems fun. I have just been thinking lately how weird life is. Do you ever think that? (k, just so you all know I am not talking to the computer. I am hoping one innocent soul reads this, so I dont feel like a loser:)

For example, last night I had this really weird dream. Actually, I do not even know if it was a dream, but I was lying in bed hitting myself because I thought there was bugs crawling on me.It sounds funny now, but at the time I seriously thought Pharoah wasn't letting God's people leave Egypt and it was another plague. I didn't even feel weird at the time hitting myself. It felt like the right thing to do. Looking back now, I see how weird that is. I woke up with bruises.aka.hematomas on my arm. Totally off topic, but I have an uncle who bites his wife in the arm in his sleep. Now THAT is weird. Can you imagine waking up to that

Example #2 of awkward weirdness
I went home this week, which was really amazing. Family is grand!!! Anywhoo, my mom babysits these 3 little kids and they are super cute. I always have to talk to them on the phone and it is really funny. You know when you talk to little kids on the phone and the conversation is kind of funny? Well, I was talking away to Cody asking him about playing toys and little kid stuff when all of the sudden he is like"Jess, wanna talk to my finger puppet?" What was I supposed to say? So I was like"okay!!"So here I am on the phone with this finger puppet. It was awkward, but funny. I was like"hi, Cody's finger puppet, how are you?" Yeah, then Cody would come back on and be like" Jess, are you talking to it?" And I would be like"yes Cody, I am."Then I had to continue talking to this thing for a few minutes. The funny thing is the phone is directly in the hall in my dorm. Everyone heard me. lol...I am hard up for friends, so I talk to finger puppets. You are probably wondering why I told that story. I am too. Just to prove my point that life is weird and humourous.

Example #3 of a cool weirdness

My great grandma lives at my house, and she is really great. She is 86 years old, but man she cracks me up.She is still really smart, just her body is fading. For example, the other day I took her to the chiropractor in our town. We were just paying and leaving, when all the sudden she decides she wants to dance. I am not kidding. So we were in this office, and she starts using her walker as support and starts to dance towards me and the door. There were definitley people watching us, and I was like trying not to burst out laughing. I was just praying she wouldn't ask me to dance with her. I am far from a good dancer. Part of that might be because my last name is Friesen. Who knows? O well, it was funny. The next day she said she was sore and wanted me to rub heating cream on her arm. As I generously put cream on her achiness, I wanted to tell her to stretch next time if she was going to be all crazy in public:) She is great! This is the same grandma who has already given me a wedding gift, and who was watching a show about marriage the other day and told me to go watch it. Talk about giving hints.hola. I hope I am like her when I am old though. Weird and fun at the same time. I don't plan on busting out the moves in a public place though. That is a bit extreme for me:)

Well, I know there are many more weird things that happen in life, but I thing I better shutter down. I am losing brain juice, so I better quit before I regret writing something I did weird. Blogs are great that way though. You can write whatever, and it is okay because it is a blog:) Well, to a degree. I would never write in a blog about how I walked around a campground pretending I was from another country aka trying to pretend to speak another language.But sounding like a moron. (I dont even look chinese!!What was I thinking?? Poor people cooking s'mores over there fires and hearing us.(k, I did it one time, but I was way younger.)

Weird is good:) Jess

Friday, October 26, 2007

The deeper meaning of stick men

Tunse' world!
You know I really have no idea why I came on here to write a post. I have nothing in particular to write about, I guess I just felt like typing. I just woke up from a 3 hour nap, so now it is 11:00 at night and I want to conquer the world. Well, now that I am on here, I guess I better think of something important to write. hmmmm.....okay I guess I will attempt to entertain you with something that happened to me a while ago. This actually isn't a story from school here, but I thought about it today.
You know, there are a lot of things in life that I like to laugh about. Laughing is basically the greatest thing invented. Serioulsy, without laughing life would be a boring, dark tube. Sorry, that is the only way I can describe it.:) Of course, there are days in the echoing, hollow dining hall that I hate my loud laugh and nose flare. Everyone looking at me and wondering if it is actually cranberry juice in front of me, or if I am in with the dining hall man, and he made me a Tequilla. I don't even know how to spell that, so I doubt it. Tell the school that though, they wouldn't believe you.
Anywhoo, the point to that paragraph was to bring you to this point. There are just some things in life that are not laughing matters. Believe it or not. You see, this next story is one that I am not proud of, and do not want to be remembered for. It is one of horror and embarressment. Many a people have heard it, but I am really just feeling the need to share it on this blog. I do not know why, I just do.
It all began on a crisp, cold day. Me and some of my family were in a city that we go to many a time. It is not a strange city to me, I know it like the posterior of my hand. So you see, I really had to go to the washroom, and I don't mean a little. I mean, I was in the Pampers aisle in Wal-Mart and wondering what they would do if I ripped one of those purple little bags open and put one on. It was bad, not going to lie. Luckily, my family decided it was time to leave, so we went to this restaurant. I booked it into the bathroom, and opened the door.
See here is the thing, I really appreciate people who clean bathrooms. I really do. This summer I was the leader of a bunch of junior teens at camp, and that is what we did..EVERYDAY!!!Clean bathrooms. I really do appreciate it. It is not fun.
This is my only complaint though. When you are cleaning the bathroom of the opposite gender, LEAVE if the opposite gender comes in. So, back to my story. I go into the bathroom and there is a worker standing there of the opposite gender. I think I am usually a farely friendly person, but in this case I didn't care. You see, I stood there waiting, inside the door, for him to leave for a VERY LONG time. The only thing I said to him was "hi". I didn't start a conversation. I thought about it, but I thought that would encourage him to stay longer so I refrained. We just stood there smiling at each other. His teeth really stood out because he was a black guy. I remember that cleary enough.
I also remember debating just using the stall. There was a door on it,and by that point I didn't care. I was just about to walk in and micturate when the light bulb went off in my mind. Yeah, I know what you all are thinking. IDIOT!!! Yes, I know, that is how I feel when I look back. For those of you who havn't caught on yet, I love you, because that means I am not the only one who is slow. You see, this very smiley young man was most definitly on the urinal. I was so horrified!!!!
I can tell you right now that I would not be smiling if someone was watching me go to the bathroom for like 2 minutes. There would be zero smiles. I would be yelling things! Probably not nice things! Things like what is wrong with you? or you need help!!! Things like that. Unlike, this very nice guy who just smiled at me. Can you imagine if I would have started a conversation. "So, how do you like cleaning the bathroom?" "Good pay?" "Whats the secret to the pizza here?" "Can I give you a little tip? You arn't going to get much done standing against the wall." To this day, I do not know how I clued in. I really don't. I do know this, I don't think he spoke English AND I ran out the door saying" I am in the wrong bathroom..arnt I."
I went back to my table with my family and didn't tell them. Still havn't, I don't want to be disowned. They were probably wondering why I held the menu in front of my face so long. It might have been because I had a perfect view to the inside of the kitchen, and there he was making my food.Glancing up once in a while at me with that smile I knew all to well.He was probably telling his buddies in another language how perverted Canada is and to stay away from table # 5.
Sigh! Well, that is my story! Now you can see why I can't laugh about everything. I can laugh about it now, after a few months of couselling. I am pretty sure I saw that guy going into the counsellors office beside me though. Wouldn't blame him, poor innocent man. It takes time to heal though.Wonder how he is doing? Here's my closing advice.
Those stick men/women on the doors of washrooms have a deeper meaning. Please find that meaning and follow it. It will lead you to a happier life.
Keep laughing my friends. Jess

Friday, October 12, 2007

TO READ? OR NOT TO READ? THAT IS THE QUESTION

H to the ello!!!
Sorry we havn't written on here for a while. Somewhere between August 26 and now my life went from peaceful and great to...ummmm..DEATH!!! Just kidding! Not quite that extreme!
I have been trying to think of something to write about on here. I can't even remember everything that has happened actually! This post might be really long, because as I write I remember stuff.:) So yeah, there is this really cool thing called intermissions that you can take if you need too. I will warn you though, nursing has its awkward moments!What I mean is if you want to be scarred for life by all means continue. If you don't want things etched in your mind, forever to be tattooed.. STOP NOW!!! Dont say I did not warn you!I do not want to be the cause of your cardiac arrest. Heres my attempt to tell you little by little some of the experiences we have had in the last few months...story by story
First story
Ok, so about my last comment. The cardiac arrest one.I know what you were thinking"I am a healthy person! I won't have a heart attack!" Thats what I thought too, until I realized one thing and one thing only. Nursing does weird things to a person..and I mean weird. I have witnessed, experienced and attempted things that I never thought possible. They have made my heart beat faster, and my spleen excrete. (I dont think that is possible but you get it.) One minute you are standing there wondering when you get to shove a needle into someone, and the next thing you know you are on the ground holding your chest begging someone, anyone to save you. Do you want to know why? I will tell you! I am not going to go into graphic details of what we experience. I am not like that, and neither are you. TRUST ME!!! I will tell you this..God made bodies really cool. I have especially come to realize here. We are each so intricatly made..it is unreal! This is how this day went down..
rated-14a
We were in our lab class, which is really fun. We get to wear scrubs and look all professional. We do crazy stuff in like this hospital setting. It is pretty cool..most of the time. On this particular day we were doing bed baths.K, I know what ya'll are thinking! A bed bath is a bath in bed:) Is that what you were thinking? The teacher was showing us how to do it on a dummy, which we all breathed a sigh of relief about. See we have these dummies, and they are really creepy and look real. This dummy was a girl and the teacher attempted to show us how to go about giving a bed bath. At this point in nursing, I have had to really learn to not laugh at certain things. Apparently, it is unprofessional.The teacher said we had to act like adults.Who would have thunk it? I was so calm, just standing there. I was doing good! I was proud of myself! The MARRIED ADULT lady on the other hand, standing beside me was laughing hyserically. Boy was I praying for strength not to laugh,Man did it hurt though! K, so we finished with the bed bath, and I was like all happy cause I made it through...adult like. I took a sigh of relief and just as I was about to exhale I see the teacher pull out this box. Apparently, we were not done! See I had this fear inside of me that there was going to be more because there always is. In my mind I was thinking there was going to be another dummy that was a boy, I was just hoping she wouldn't ask me to go get it. They are so disturbing!!! I was partially right. Luckily, I did not have to go get another dummy, the dummy we had already was special..real special. How shall I put this nicely? Inside the box was a little click on part...I am sorry guys for sharing that with you, but it was tooooo much. It could change from a boy to a girl! AHHHHH!! Well, that was it, I was laughing so hard..ho man!!No more Miss-be-mature from me. Nope, that was the line!This is the part of the story where my heart stops and my spleen excretes. I beg for my life to be saved. Luckily, other people were laughing by that point, so I wasn't the only one. It was to much for me. I am not going to share anymore, because I think I have said enough. Ask me sometime the rest. I might share it!!...maybe. Actually, ask Amanda she will tell you!

I hope this didn't offend anyone, but alot of this blog for is something I can do, so I have something to look back on and laugh about. I found this funny, but maybe that is because I am becoming immune to stuff like this. There are many more stories that I could share, but I think you can only handle one a year. I was going to tell more stories, that weren't so rank, but this post is getting really long. I will save them for next time. Hopefully, I can be more consistant with writing on here. Please pray for us! We both would appreciate it! O yeah, and please pray that my laughing will not get me fired. Stupid coping mechanisms! Take Care!

Sunday, August 26, 2007

Do snails go to Heaven?

Ohh, got ya! You thought one of our snails died..didn't you? I bet your cardio stopped for a sec. Well, now you know how me and Amanda felt only yesterday, and the day before. You see I now know that Wendle has the tendency to be lazy, but at the time I didn't realize. It was around 8:30 when me and Amanda, being the best snail carers, fed our snails. We then proceeded to get ready for the day. We went to brunch around 10:00, and when we came back Wendle was still in the exact same spot. His food had sunk to the bottom and it was lying among the rocks, and what I thought to be the dead corpse.Let me tell you, that is not normal for young Wendle. He usually slimes his way up to the top and literally sucks it down as if food is the only exciting thing in his life.(It actually probably is!So sad:() I decided to give him some time. Being a snail is a hard life, wondering around all day..doing nothing. Plus the day before the same thing happened, so I was like, "you know what he just needs time!" So I gave him time...till 4:30. Seriously, he was in the exact same spot the whole time.I walked over to Amanda's snail, just to see if that is normal.Horse was snailing around having a snail of a time..Ha! Ha! I came to the conclusion that is not normal. Me and Amanda just stood there looking at it, wondering what to do. We looked through the yellow pages of Three Hill, looking for something.anything to help us.There was nothing.No 1-800#..nothing.Defeated,I tried shaking the aquarium, but he just flopped around like a doughhead. I then contemplated where I should bury it. What would Wendle want?WWWW!Ok, not quite!Anyways, me and Amanda discussed it. Should we flush it down into the depth of the dark, dirty sewer as if he meant nothing to us? Should we bury outside where psycho drunk guys could trample all over it with there "guns"? Should we kill Horse so that he has compnay?Just kidding Amanda!! Then we had a plan. You see I have a cactus named Norbert sitting up on my shelf.( Amanda's is named Porcupine!) Anyways, this cactus is in dirt, so we thought we could bury it in there.It was a very sad discussion, but that was our conclusion.We decided to give everything he owned to his good friend Horse. We just couldn't deal with burying him at that point, so we went for a walk. We were gone for about half hour, and when we came back I sat down at my computer.I then looked up, and to my uttermost amazement Wendle was moving. I leaped for joy! Wendle was alive!! Amanda was in the bathroom at that point, but she came running cause she heard me yelling! Umm..not quite, but close:) I now know that Wendle has lazyitis..BIG time! Even now he is sitting in the exact same spot as this morning, his food waiting to be devoured. I no longer am worried. Just like people, they have different personality. Horse is active and well, and Wendle needs to go on Dr.Phil, but that is ok. I don't know how I will know when he really is dead. I think to each him a lesson I will just flush him down the toilet, and that way if he really wasn't dead, he would never play dead again. O yeah, in case you were wondering spankings don't work to teach a snail a lesson. Stupid shells!!
Editors note:
I can't believe I just wrote that blog..I am ok guys really!! I really do not need couselling. We must make these things dramatic to make this blog interesting! Yes, we love our snails and yes they are our best friends, and yes they are the highlight of our lives, and yes we would do anything for them, and yes a piece of us almost died last night, but our whole life doesn't revolve around them..COME ON!!! Who do you think we are?

Saturday, August 25, 2007

No One Told Me To Wear Bullet Proof Pajamas

Here I am, once again. Me and Amanda just discussed what we should blog about.She is going to blog about our snail buying day, and I am going to tell you our adventure of last night..and boy is it an adventure.Once again I have to rate it..just to warn you, our lives are nothing to joke about. It is something to pray about! We lead an exciting, yet dangerous life.It may sound fun, but unless you are in it, you can't understand. Here we go..
Rating-14a
Last night around 12:30 we were getting ready for bed. Nothing out of the ordinary for us, actually it is farely normal. We were just about to climb into our hard beds, when suddenly we heard a loud bang. Me and Amanda started joking about a gunshot, and continued to climb into our hard beds. All of the sudden we heard some guys from the town outside of our window yelling. Our window was open, but they were yelling at the girls next door.I think they were drunk, at least I hope so. Now I really cannot say what they wrote, although if I followed the ratings of this day and age, it would be alright. Basically they said they were going to come up here and kill us and that they had a gun.(Probably an air gun, that shoots air!)Let me tell you that this is not part of our routine at night. It's not like we brush our teeth, get on pajamas, and listen to guys tell us they are going to come kill us. Noo, it was rare! Me and Amanda were just in our room laughing, and joking about Three Hills being a safe town.I think someone called the cops! It was intense! Well, Amanda went to sleep and I laid there wondering if death was a moment away. I didn't want to die alone..I choose life! Luckily, our dorms have security things so you can't get in. I was actually more worried that they would key my car or something. It was all good!I don't know if they got caught, because I was to busy putting bars on my window.I crawled on my hands and knees to shut off the light, cause I saw it in a movie ones.Stay low!!Well, that was our adventure for last night..who knows what tonight holds..all I know is that there is a pair of pajamas in my closet waiting to be put on..and they are definitly heavier then usual."Amanda get away from the window!"