Do snails go to Heaven?

Ohh, got ya! You thought one of our snails died..didn't you? I bet your cardio stopped for a sec. Well, now you know how me and Amanda felt only yesterday, and the day before. You see I now know that Wendle has the tendency to be lazy, but at the time I didn't realize. It was around 8:30 when me and Amanda, being the best snail carers, fed our snails. We then proceeded to get ready for the day. We went to brunch around 10:00, and when we came back Wendle was still in the exact same spot. His food had sunk to the bottom and it was lying among the rocks, and what I thought to be the dead corpse.Let me tell you, that is not normal for young Wendle. He usually slimes his way up to the top and literally sucks it down as if food is the only exciting thing in his life.(It actually probably is!So sad:() I decided to give him some time. Being a snail is a hard life, wondering around all day..doing nothing. Plus the day before the same thing happened, so I was like, "you know what he just needs time!" So I gave him time...till 4:30. Seriously, he was in the exact same spot the whole time.I walked over to Amanda's snail, just to see if that is normal.Horse was snailing around having a snail of a time..Ha! Ha! I came to the conclusion that is not normal. Me and Amanda just stood there looking at it, wondering what to do. We looked through the yellow pages of Three Hill, looking for something.anything to help us.There was nothing.No 1-800#..nothing.Defeated,I tried shaking the aquarium, but he just flopped around like a doughhead. I then contemplated where I should bury it. What would Wendle want?WWWW!Ok, not quite!Anyways, me and Amanda discussed it. Should we flush it down into the depth of the dark, dirty sewer as if he meant nothing to us? Should we bury outside where psycho drunk guys could trample all over it with there "guns"? Should we kill Horse so that he has compnay?Just kidding Amanda!! Then we had a plan. You see I have a cactus named Norbert sitting up on my shelf.( Amanda's is named Porcupine!) Anyways, this cactus is in dirt, so we thought we could bury it in there.It was a very sad discussion, but that was our conclusion.We decided to give everything he owned to his good friend Horse. We just couldn't deal with burying him at that point, so we went for a walk. We were gone for about half hour, and when we came back I sat down at my computer.I then looked up, and to my uttermost amazement Wendle was moving. I leaped for joy! Wendle was alive!! Amanda was in the bathroom at that point, but she came running cause she heard me yelling! Umm..not quite, but close:) I now know that Wendle has lazyitis..BIG time! Even now he is sitting in the exact same spot as this morning, his food waiting to be devoured. I no longer am worried. Just like people, they have different personality. Horse is active and well, and Wendle needs to go on Dr.Phil, but that is ok. I don't know how I will know when he really is dead. I think to each him a lesson I will just flush him down the toilet, and that way if he really wasn't dead, he would never play dead again. O yeah, in case you were wondering spankings don't work to teach a snail a lesson. Stupid shells!!
Editors note:
I can't believe I just wrote that blog..I am ok guys really!! I really do not need couselling. We must make these things dramatic to make this blog interesting! Yes, we love our snails and yes they are our best friends, and yes they are the highlight of our lives, and yes we would do anything for them, and yes a piece of us almost died last night, but our whole life doesn't revolve around them..COME ON!!! Who do you think we are?

No One Told Me To Wear Bullet Proof Pajamas

Here I am, once again. Me and Amanda just discussed what we should blog about.She is going to blog about our snail buying day, and I am going to tell you our adventure of last night..and boy is it an adventure.Once again I have to rate it..just to warn you, our lives are nothing to joke about. It is something to pray about! We lead an exciting, yet dangerous life.It may sound fun, but unless you are in it, you can't understand. Here we go..
Rating-14a
Last night around 12:30 we were getting ready for bed. Nothing out of the ordinary for us, actually it is farely normal. We were just about to climb into our hard beds, when suddenly we heard a loud bang. Me and Amanda started joking about a gunshot, and continued to climb into our hard beds. All of the sudden we heard some guys from the town outside of our window yelling. Our window was open, but they were yelling at the girls next door.I think they were drunk, at least I hope so. Now I really cannot say what they wrote, although if I followed the ratings of this day and age, it would be alright. Basically they said they were going to come up here and kill us and that they had a gun.(Probably an air gun, that shoots air!)Let me tell you that this is not part of our routine at night. It's not like we brush our teeth, get on pajamas, and listen to guys tell us they are going to come kill us. Noo, it was rare! Me and Amanda were just in our room laughing, and joking about Three Hills being a safe town.I think someone called the cops! It was intense! Well, Amanda went to sleep and I laid there wondering if death was a moment away. I didn't want to die alone..I choose life! Luckily, our dorms have security things so you can't get in. I was actually more worried that they would key my car or something. It was all good!I don't know if they got caught, because I was to busy putting bars on my window.I crawled on my hands and knees to shut off the light, cause I saw it in a movie ones.Stay low!!Well, that was our adventure for last night..who knows what tonight holds..all I know is that there is a pair of pajamas in my closet waiting to be put on..and they are definitly heavier then usual."Amanda get away from the window!"

how to nurse your snail. An easy step by step comprehensive guide.

Well life as a nurse has been interesting. I have been officially in on this for three days now... in over my head with random terms such as micturate and emaciated. One that I just learned today is Mucous which means SLIME. Slime in turn reminds me of my favorite new pet. He is such a friendly and cuddly little critter. Our interaction and friendship brings me comfort in this new and challenging situation of nursing school. My new best friend is an aquarium snail with tiger stripes. My wonderful roommate also got a snail, a golden colored mollusk that Jess has gown quite attached to. The day Jessica and I brought our new family members home was a day of great rejoicing and celebration. They have a place of honor on the book shelves with a wonderful view of Taylor's Clinical Nursing Skills and Hole's Essential of Human Anatomy and Physiology text books.

Naming them was one of the first challenges we came across with our pets. Such distinct and exciting pets need equally as interesting names. We deliberated for a long period of time seeking help from friends and neighbors. Not able to take the pressure I had to leave and go for a walk to think it through. Finally Jess decided on Wendle, a very fitting name for such an elaborate pet. Horse was the new nomen for my pet I had decided on during my ambulation throught the town of Three Hills. Their daily necissity for a flake of fish food is also a challange. Remebering is not the problem but the strain and worry you go through wondering if you dear pet will be able to find his meal in the wild spaces of his aquarium make me weary and faint. Indeed copious amounts of time have been spent nail biting and finger crossing in hope that the dear snail who lay curled in his crusted home would revive and eat his delicious meal. The activity is almost to much for us... BUT we ARE nurses now and should be able to handle the responsibilty and pressure of caring for Mucousie pet.

What is the medical term for"get lost?"

Hola everyone!( I had to ask Amanda how to say that:)
Well, you may be wondering why I am the one writing a post again. You see, I am writing this on behalf of my good friend Amanda. You see Amanda has a disease that many people wish they had, and unfortunately it has no cure. It is the disease of hotitis. Unfortunately, when you have this disease certain things happen in your life! A certain thing called men! Yeah, you see me, being her roommate, am at a point where I have to protect Amanda because this disease is starting to cause some problems. I am going to give you some true stories that will prove to you what I am saying. Trust me, these stories are true and may be disturbing to young children.
Rated-PG
Story#1
Me and Amanda are sitting in a hot tub, minding our own business.Let me repeat, minding our own business! We look up and there is this guy swimming towards us. Amanda being as nice as she is says hi. K, serioulsy people when someone says hi to you do you ask them if they ever plan on getting married? Do you tell them you plan on taking your future wife to New Zealand?Do you ask them if they want to go sit in the sauna together? Do you tell them that you are rich? No!! Only desperate people do that! This guy seriously asked Amanda all those things and more. I was just sitting there looking at him, and wondering if he planned on living long enough to get married. At the rate he was going, he wasn't going to see the next 2 minutes. After the sauna thing Amanda decided to go "diving"! Good thing she intervened, cause I was close to seeing how long he could hold his breath.
Story#2
Same pool, same day. Me and Amanda sitting there..once again...minding our own business. I heard this guy say"How you doing?" Now it wasn't said in a friendly way, it was more like a wanna be macho dude. I turned my head towards the noise, and realized the guy was talking to Amanda. Luckily, Amanda didn't hear him, but the poor guy thought he was being"shut down"!He looked at me as if I should feel sorry for him..when really I wanted to slap him. Who does that? Yeah you are sooo cool! I think Amanda feels bad, cause I told her afterwards. I think it was good for his ego. He needs to watch the movie Hitch, it would teach him a few things about how to pick up a girl. Maybe him and "sauna boy"should write a book about what not to do!
Well, that is all I have to say for now! This probably sounded like I was really harsh, or mean. Maybe I was, but you know what I am ok with that. The truth hurts, and lucky for them, I was in a good mood that day:) Keep in touch!

Hello Everyone!!! While me and Amanda are here at Prairie we decided to start a blog about all of our adventures. We have only been here for about 4 days, and already we have stories!!We both really feel the need to share these stories because we know they will change lives. Feel free to do whatever as you read them..laugh, cry,or weep. We know you will want to..so here we go the adventures of Amanda and Jess!!


Day 1
It all started on August 17th, or as Amanda called it Freaky Friday!! We arrived on campus around 3:30, got our stuff into our room and all that jazz. It was going pretty good you know, until we had "bonding time". The reason I am writing this particular post, is so that it can be clearly expressed how much I love first impressions. I LOVE them!!NOT!!! Anyways, so here we are playing this random game that I personally don't think helped us bond, but that is my biased opinion. For some reason the team I was on won, and as our prize we won a mini bag of chocolate bars. Ok, cool..I like chocolate!But this is the thing..the teacher who was leading this game thought it would be funny to throw the bag of chocolate bars out to us. Me, being shy as I am, was in the back.:) The bag flew through the air directly towards me, my life flashed before my eyes!! I reached out my hand, my reflexes were like a viper, and grabbed the bag!Now for some reason when I reached out to grab it my arm flung back with incredible force and smoked a girl so hard in the head. The world froze, as I looked at her! I laughed..of course and apologized, and luckily we still like each other.I know who she is by the huge teletubbie bumb on her head! Girls, you don;t need pepper spray..chocolate bars works great!
The night continued..this time everyone was doing an Amazing Race thing. It was pretty fun..running around doing crazy stuff! We get to this one post, and we had to eat some weird stuff. It was pretty sweet..all I had to eat was crackers. I was in the midle of devouring these crackers and the girl beside me was trying to down a Sprite. I was really thirsty and she didn't look like she liked it much so I asked her if she wanted to trade. She handed me the Sprite rather happily. The crazy thing is that Amanda also had to drink a Sprite, so just as I put the Sprite to my mouth to drink it I looked over at Amanda. Now I can't really explain what the look was except to say...unreal!! I totally spit Sprite everywhere! I am actually goingto stop there because I don;t want to talk about it anymore, my counsellor says it is not good too! Well, we have many a more stories to tell, but it getting late! We also have some crazy random pictures to put on here, but we will do that soon. Later!!